Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
November 16, 2009
File Size
2.9 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
167
Favourites
3 (who?)
Comments
11
Downloads
3
×
beautiful / ugly

You say you're sick of it,
"sick of this shit",
of how you can't explain what it feels like
to throw your head out of your hands and into the night
           ( the beautiful / ugly night )
and just feel the wind
     scrabbling across empty wastelands.
    Dragging itself, writhing, over hollow spaces
     slender and slight and  oh  -  so  -  beautiful.


You get "pissed off" at the fingerprints
clouding up the fake plastic glass
and this "feeling, this goddamn feeling",
like your skeleton prying open your skin
curving the organs and blood and meat out of the way
and clutching window frames.


( Have you seen the smoke loop upwards
    from the culminations of bruised cigarettes?
      the rancid back alleys, the rotten people
       and the sky deforming under the weight of it all.
        You surely know of the festering wounds on the world saying
      "here, fondle my breasts" or
    "here, dissect my lips and cleave me wide open
   and see if I am a
  vacant body and as

                               gutless
                                             as I seem" )


The lights from cars glister through the night.
The crater on your chest blisters around the edges,
the surgeons chip away at your creaking ribs,
tracing clavicles with scalpels, shoulder-blades with tongues and
saying we're sorry, we're sorry, he's too far gone, what can we do,
what can we do, we're only human, we're only

human.

You shut the door,
lean from the aching mouth of your bedroom
and sink into the night.
The exhausted cities sing in the distance:
  the music the world makes is just as
beautiful / ugly
  as its composer.
I feel like such a hypocritical, whining, attention-seeking child for writing this. So, I'm sorry, I couldn't help but poop this out.

:icongrimreaperplz:

(I suppose the punchline to this poem is "you're no Beethoven.")

I am irritated that i wasn't allowed to use a ' / ' in the title. Harrumph.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsardinescoundrel:
What have you submitted for original writing in English? It should be this :)
Reply
:iconangeltears4:
I dunno. I don't show my poetry to anyone other than DA (AKA, you and Katherine) and am iffy about showing it to Mr. G. :confused:
It would feel silly to just go up to him and say "here, some emo poetry I wrote, read it and put it in my english folder."

I guess I'm self-concious~ :XD:
Reply
:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Nov 18, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's what I did with my Dear Doctor thingmy.
Reply
:iconangeltears4:
Did he like it?
Reply
:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Nov 19, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I got A* so he can't have disliked it that much.
Reply
:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Nov 17, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow... just, wow. This is absolutely amazing :heart: I'm reading it again and again cause it's so damned good.
I am absolutely in love with the fourth stanza, shoulder blades <3 <3 <3

I am fully suggesting this for a DD if I can remember how.
Reply
:iconangeltears4:
YES! :nod: I like the fourth stanza, too! But I still think that "cleave me wide open and see if I am a vacant body and as gutless as I seem" is one of the best lines I've ever written.

I still don't think I described wind in the first stanza as effectively as I wanted too... You don't think it's too long, do you? *mutters to self...* :blahblah:

PS: I thought about you when I wrote the shoulderblades bit. :heart: teehee.
Reply
:iconilovebigcats:
ILoveBigCats Nov 17, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I lovelove that bit too :) And the description of the wind is brilliant.

And was that because my shoulder blades are so smexy?
Reply
:iconangeltears4:
Unfortunately, I'm not sure I've ever had the pleasure of seeing your shoulder blades. I just remember you saying how you found them smexy.

Personally, collar bones make me drool... I'm watching an anime at the moment just because the main character has sexy collarbones...
:drool:
I've yet to see a decent anime with shoulder blades, though... :(
Reply
Add a Comment: